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by Fallenangel_Winchester



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:47:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21762469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenangel_Winchester/pseuds/Fallenangel_Winchester
Summary: Arthur leaves Merlin with the druids, thinking he belongs there, he was wrong as usual
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 294





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**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess and one of those ideas that sounded better in my head  
> *sigh* 
> 
> Thanks for reading

“Emrys, Emrys, Emrys ” the children chanted until they got noticed, their giggles echoing through the camp. It was such a heartwarming sight that he had to stop and watch the scene ahead of him. 

Merlin was attacked by a group of children, each one of them asking questions and begging for him to show them some magic while he was turning his attention from one to the other, trying to catch up with them all the while never losing his smile. 

His manservant was careful with them, joking and showing off his powers in the most beautiful way he could come up with that he couldn't stop himself from staring, as the feeling of slowly losing his breath started to overcome him with every laugh that reached his ears. It felt like something heavy was pressing down on his chest and he had to move before the pressure got too much, so that's what he did. With a few steps he was away from the camp where he could finally take a proper breath. 

He knew that it was time to leave the druids’ camp, they came to an agreement and even though Arthur tried to be as accepting and understanding as possible he knew he could never completely sympathize with them, not when magic took so much from him, and now it seemed that it wanted to take whatever was left as well… 

_ No _

It wasn't like that, the druids were good, Merlin showed him that magic wasn't good or bad but it could be used for both good and bad, not unlike any other weapon and he did his best to learn and to push aside his instincts that screamed danger whenever magic was used. 

Merlin was good, there was no doubt in it, he knew that, yet when his manservant confessed having magic, his heart was torn to pieces from having to experience so many contradicting emotions. 

He felt betrayed, yet he couldn't find in himself to hate Merlin, because deep down inside of him he knew that he hid who he was because he was afraid. 

_ Afraid of me _

Somehow that was worse, he tried so hard to be fair towards his subjects, to build a peaceful and protected kingdom, to right the wrongs his father had done and he couldn't even be trusted with the truth. 

So he stayed away, gave his manservant a week off and went to clear his mind, he went hunting by himself, when Leon came to assist him and save him at the same time, he realized that he needed to get himself together, for his people and his kingdom and he did. 

Merlin and him, started from the beginning, from awkwardness to being comfortable doing magic in front of him and currently they were guests in the druids’ camp, working on a way to break the magic ban and unity their people. They had come a long way, but there was a lot more to be done and the closer they got to their goal the more restless he felt. 

People slowly started seeing him for who he really was, not for who was his father and that was promising, but at the same time he realized how out of place he was amongst the druids. 

_ But, he belongs here _

Only two days spent amongst them and he was already loved by everyone, not that it surprised him. Merlin was liked by almost everyone he met, it sounded unreal until you'd look at those big ears, the soulful eyes and that infectious smile and just like that you'd want to protect him from all the bad in the world. He appeared more relaxed, positive and confident that it was like he was showing a new side of him…at least new for Arthur. 

He tried to release him from his duties as a manservant, but the idiot refused, claiming that his place was by his side. So he tucked those words deep inside his heart and reminded himself that he had nothing to fear, Merlin wasn't going to leave. 

_ He has magic, he is not thriving in Camelot, he should be with his people  _

The treacherous voice inside of his head was right, he had suffered long enough, repressing his true nature all because of Arthur, all because he was afraid for his life, which made him feel sick knowing that those children were taught that he was the one they should be afraid of. 

It was time to do what was right, to make a hard decision and to stick to it, time to let go… 

Before he could change his mind he went to look for his manservant and found him sitting cross-legged on the grass, golden eyes shining as blue butterflies sprang into life out of thin air only to be followed by a surprised gasp and a laugh from the little girl that kept him company. 

He was comfortable to stay in the background until those eyes turned to look at him and just like that he forgot what he was he supposed to say and do. It took him a few moments staring at Merlin like an idiot before he cleared his throat and said, 

“Merlin.” his tone must have carried some amount of seriousness because he didn't even comment before he said goodbye to the little girl and immediately rose to his feet. 

“Arthur?”

“It's time to go back to Camelot.” 

“Alright, I'll prepare our things and we'll be able to leave in…”

“Actually, I need you to stay here for a while, need someone who can show…prove them that I'm not like my father.” he was struggling to find words. 

“What?”

“Honestly Merlin don't be such an idiot, it's simple you should stay with your people for a while, at least until I find a way to convince the council members to be less stubborn, this isn't going to be easy, they're old men.” he just kept talking not allowing him to interfere and with a final

“Take care of yourself Merlin.” he rushed away. 

Quickly he prepared himself for the journey, saying goodbye to the elders of the druids, politely reminding them that Merlin's place was amongst them while completely ignoring their sad eyes filled with understanding and careful not to draw attention to himself, he left. 

He pretended it didn't bother him, but the fact that his manservant, his friend listened to him and did what he was told was a proof that he had done the right thing, even though it felt as if he had lost everything. 

_ One week _

That's how much he thought that Merlin would need to get used to the new situation and with the guidance of the druids he'd become even better, he might even sent Gaius to temporary join him. The old man was loyal and severely underappreciated despite the respect he got from everyone. 

_ He needs a break as well _

When he finally arrived at Camelot and told Gaius about his decision, instead of approval he got a raised eyebrow and long speech whose purpose was to convince him that he was making a mistake and to inform him that his place was in Camelot and he would never leave it. At the end to his surprise he was rewarded with a hug and since it was a rare thing for the old man to hug him, he wholeheartedly returned it, basking in the comfort he didn't realize he needed it. 

A week and a half passed and Arthur did his best to stop himself from missing Merlin and yes, he admitted that after a night at the tavern, drinking with the knights, the only one who understood his unsaid reasons for leaving him behind was Gwaine and he was unbelievably kind. 

Gwen on the other hand wasn't kind at all, she was on Merlin's side claiming that he should have given him a choice, but when she heard his reasons and spent a few moments observing him as if she could read his thoughts, she let out a tired sight and stopped her lecturing. 

“It would be easier for you, if you just admit the truth to yourself.” and with that she left him to think. 

It took him a few more days and a few hits during training when he came back to his room and called Merlin only to get no answer. 

Merlin was gone and it was because of him, it wasn't because Arthur thought his place was with the druids, but because he was afraid that once the magic ban was lifted, he would leave Camelot. 

_ So, I left him before he could do the same  _

Instead of reaching out and working together he took the easy way out, because… because magic took everything from him, because there was a lot he should redeem for, because… 

He was an irreplaceable part of his life and he cared about him more than he expected, it turned out that they were on opposite sides and he didn't know how to deal with that and the feelings that never left no matter how much he pushed them away. 

So, he moped until a word came that the druids needed their help to defend themselves from an attack since they refused to use magic for violence believing that by using their gift for destruction they would prove the world that they were dangerous and not to be trusted. 

He went as soon as possible completely forgetting that Merlin could hold his ground quite well, only remembering the clumsy and cheerful servant that never left his side. Unfortunately, the attack came both from a group of rebels and two sorcerers who were against Arthur and his kingdom, so they needed extra help. There was no time for talking, but fighting side by side with Merlin was an unusual experience. He was used to being the one who fought while Merlin stayed behind, so seeing him fighting like he had done it his whole life was mind-blowing on so many levels and the most interesting thing was how well they worked. They acted like they had done the same routine countless of times, having each other's back, speaking without words and defending both each other and the ones around them. It was intoxicating and Arthur's heart swelled with pride and affection. 

When everything was over and they were resting, reality crashed down on him and he realized that he had to leave, but he couldn't stop looking at Merlin's face, he really did miss him. 

“So, when are we going back sire?”

“What?”

“Home, back to Camelot.” that struck a chord and he answered, 

“You’re home Merlin, you're with your people.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are home, this is your home, you belong here.” he wasn't even sure who he was trying to convince. 

“What? Camelot is my home and I want to go back there.”

“Why? Why do you want to go back to the place where you had to hide who you are ?” he didn't understand. 

“Because that's my home, that's where Gaius, Gwen and the knights are, it's where you're, my place is beside you. “ 

It made no sense to him. 

“I'm… my father is the reason why your people suffered so much…don't understand why…you were my servant and here you can be whatever you want.”

“My destiny is to serve you.” his voice perfectly calm and just like that Arthur snapped, 

“I let you go, you're no longer a servant, you can make your own destiny, they need you more than I do. I've given you nothing but trouble and pain.”

“Is that why you left me? Arthur my destiny is to aid you in building the greatest kingdom.”

“I don't want you to stay because of some destiny.” not sure why he said that. 

“My mother once told me that we're two sides of the same coin, it took me a long time to see that, but it's true. Arthur…my home is Camelot, my home is where you're, but if you don't want me there…”

“You want to come back with me, why?”

Merlin rolled his eyes in frustration and answered, his cheeks flushed from embarrassment. 

“You're a real prat… Because I love you and I'd like to protect you as well as I can!” 

The pressure in Arthur's chest disappeared and he suddenly felt giddy. 

“Don't be ridiculous Merlin, I more than capable of protecting myself. “

“That's not what I was trying to…” but Arthur didn't let him finish the sentence, he pulled him in his arms and hugged him. 

“I missed you and your prattle.” which in his language meant ‘I love you too.’ 

When he had enough, he pulled back, aware of his burning cheeks and was greeted by Merlin's blinding smile, so he did the first thing on his mind, he kissed him. 

They really fit well together, exactly like two sides of the same coin. 

“So, can we go today? No offense but I'm tired of sleeping on the ground. “

Arthur just chuckled at him, before he nodded in agreement, then he said, 

“Go ahead then, tell the knights to start getting ready, we're going home.” in return he got a kiss on his cheek before he rushed away to do what he was told. 

_ Home is where you are _


End file.
